Love was in the air at McKinley High this week, as Glee aired a very special Valentine’s Day episode on the 14th. Plus, we finally got to meet Rachel’s gay dads, which literally made me squeal just a little bit since one of them was played by Jeff Goldblum, whom I’ve loved since he told the eccentric old guy in Jurassic Park, “If the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don’t eat the tourists.”

Rachel’s dads made a grand entrance on a grand piano, crooning to their teenage daughter and her teenage fiancé, “Going to the chapel, and we’re gonna get married…” Apparently someone let the cat out of the bag, because Rachel and Finn had been keeping their engagement a secret up to that point. The dads seem supportive, but it’s easy to tell that they’re not 100% there, with the dig that most teen marriages end up in divorce.

Focusing on another couple in love, we see lesbian duo Brittany and Santana called into the principal’s office for kissing in the hall. Santana complains that it’s not fair to put a kibosh on any PDAs from her and her girlfriend while allowing the hetero couples to suck face openly, and I have to agree with her. Although, I don’t think that any kids should be making out in-between classes. Come on, no one wants to see that! Save it for the backseat, you horny teenagers.

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The following contains spoilers … you’ve been warned.

This week was the winter finale of “Glee,” which basically means it ended in a lame and predictable double cliffhanger. The show will be on hiatus until April 10.

The entire episode seemed like one giant after school special touting the dangers of bullying. Right off the bat, rival glee club member Sebastian tried to sabotage the New Directions’ chances of winning the upcoming regional competition by photo shopping a picture of Finn and threatening to post it online unless superstar Rachel agreed not to compete. Sebastian is also the one who threw a broken glass-spiked slushie into Blaine’s face a few weeks ago, landing him in the hospital for eye surgery.

Meanwhile, ex-bully David Karofsky (he used to endlessly torment Kurt for being gay, but it turns out he was just an angry closeted gay himself) is tormented by his teammates in the locker room, who have discovered his secret and spray painted “fag” across his locker. Doesn’t feel so good from the other side, huh Karofsky?

Instead of using this as an opportunity to show triumph over struggle, the “Glee” writers had Karofsky try to off himself. It was a long commercial break before discovering that (thankfully) the attempt had been unsuccessful. The attempted suicide prompted a lot of talk amongst the high schoolers about the things they are looking forward to in life, and the power of positive thinking.

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Oh hello Big Hollywood readers. And hello to all of the super wonderful people I met last week in Washington D.C. at CPAC. I love that so many of you enjoy reading these Glee recaps, and every time I heard, “I don’t even watch the show but I love your analysis,” or “Thank you for giving me some insight so I can talk to my teenager about it,” I smiled like an idiot. Not because I am one, but just because hearing nice things like that makes me stupid happy.

Anyway.

It’s been over a week since the Ricky Martin episode aired, and I considered skipping the write-up, but it has to do with education, which is a topic I care greatly about. Some immigration issues were raised as well, which is another topic for which I feel no small amount of passion.

So here’s what happened. The episode began with the announcement to the teachers that a tenured position had opened up, and they were all being considered for it. My first thought was WTF? Don’t all teachers get tenure after three years? I majored in elementary education in California ten years ago, and that is what we were taught.

Since I never take things I thought I once knew as absolute fact, I skipped over to Google to check on the teacher tenure requirements in Ohio, the state where the show is set. I found that Ohio does indeed have some strict tenure laws, as most states require three to five years of service before tenure is granted, while Ohio requires seven.

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The following contains spoilers. You’ve been warned.

Michael Jackson!

OK, no matter how you feel about Jackson personally, the man made some awesome music in his lifetime, which is why I was uber excited for this week’s episode of “Glee”… the Michael Jackson episode!

Yup, lots of cool cover songs were there, accompanied by fantastic dance numbers, but this episode bit at me on a personal level. Do you remember the last time we watched “Glee” together (and by that I mean I watched it, and you read about it here), when Finn proposed to Rachel? Well, this week we saw her answer.

Throughout the episode, we saw Rachel hemming and hawing as she tried to make a decision as to whether or not to tie her life to one man for the remainder of her time on earth. For some reason, she decided to go to her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend Quinn for advice. Because, of course, the best place to go for relationship advice is your current boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend (insert eye roll here).

This is where my issue with tonight’s show began and ended. Quinn told Rachel that she shouldn’t marry Finn. Rachel interjected with, “I know he and I haven’t lived together or anything, but, you know, I love him, and he’s the one, I know it.” (more…)

The following contains spoilers. You’ve been warned.

“Glee” was back last night after a month-long hiatus, which means that I’m back now – the morning after. Didja miss me? I missed you. And I missed “Glee” too. On what other show can I get my musical numbers and teenaged drama all wrapped in a giant bow of glorious propaganda?

There is no other.

This week, “Glee” was high on love, down on the military, and big on acceptance. Unless, of course, you actually want to join the military, in which case it’s all doom on you, and the military turns you into a drug addict and therefore your widowed mother into a liar.

Hmm… let me back up a moment.

Toward the beginning of the episode, Finn confesses to Mr. Schuester that he met with a recruiter… an army recruiter. The Glee Club coach appears troubled by the news, because you know, who joins the military unless they have to? (more…)

The following contains spoilers. You’ve been warned.

It’s time for the Christmas episode! Yay. I’m one of those people who deliberately does not listen to Christmas music or do Christmas-y things eleven months out of the year, because I love to save up the specialness for December. Needless to say, I was excited to sit down and watch the kids of McKinley High serenade me with highly choreographed musical numbers.

I was expecting more of a ‘holiday’ themed episode rather than a ‘Christmas’ one, because, you know, political correctness; I was just hoping that they wouldn’t mock the Christian culture. They can have their Santa and Rudolph, so long as they leave the Baby Jesus alone.

But they didn’t. Nope, of course they brought the baby in the manger into the mix, because would it be “Glee”if it weren’t controversial? So what controversial atrocity did they commit regarding the birth of the Messiah? One of the kids read an account of it, straight from the book of Luke.

Someone probably forgot to tell the writers that Luke is in the Bible.

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The following contains spoilers … you’ve been warned!

Last night on “Glee,” it was all about enjoying the best years of your life, which for some strange and odd reason the writers on the show seem to think happen during high school. Hey kids! Don’t believe “Glee.” It gets better, I promise.

Remember Sam? The kid whose family lost everything, and then the big bad banks came kicked them out of their house? We haven’t seen him since last season, but the Glee Clubbers decided that they needed to get him back in order to win their upcoming competition. Rachel and Finn took a road trip to talk to Sam about coming back, and to his parents about letting him stay with friends so that he could be a part of the club again.

They found him stripping in a nightclub.

Yeah, that happened. Apparently the only way to help his family make ends meet was to spray paint himself with body glitter, shake his booty, and let the ladies cram dollar bills down his teeny tiny pants. He tells Finn and Rachel that he tried getting a real job at Dairy Queen, “but it paid minimum wage and 2 free Blizzards.”

I feel bad for Sam, I really do. I feel even worse that “Glee” would sanction the idea that a bad economy not just excuses bad behavior, but demands it. Thankfully, his parents agree to let him go back to McKinley High, and he’s allowed to be “just a teenager” once again.

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The following article contains spoilers. You’ve been warned.

Wow. So much to talk about in last night’s episode of “Glee.” You know I watch it all for you guys. Well, also because it’s wildly entertaining, and any time I can turn something interesting or fun into part of my job, I’m in.

Since the beginning of the season, there have been two election stories going on: the one for a congressional seat, and the one for senior class president of McKinley High.

The congressional race between evil cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester, an unnamed pizza magnate, and gay guy Kurt’s dad Burt came to an end last night when Burt won the seat. But that’s not what I want to talk about.

The high school election came to an end as well, and I do want to talk a little bit about that. The main contenders were the aforementioned Kurt and the stereotypically blonde Brittany. Brittany was the frontrunner since she kept passing out pixie sticks and empty promises to the electorate.

The high schoolers spoke; they wanted pixie sticks – just like so many people in 2008! The people spoke, and they wanted pixie sticks and unicorn dust. That’s why Barack Obama is our president. I really hope that the people watching “Glee” understand that candidates that promise magical powers are never able to deliver. (more…)

The following article contains spoilers. You’ve been warned.

Hello everyone! Didja watch “Glee” last night? Come on, admit it … I know you did. It’s the show we all love and love to hate at the same time. There’s singing! There’s dancing! There’s propaganda!

What’s not to have a love/hate relationship with?

This week, the show opened with Puck fantasizing about Shelby, which isn’t awkward at all, until you realize that she is not only his teacher but also the adoptive mother of his baby daughter with classmate Quinn. Oh yeah, and Quinn is trying to frame Shelby as a bad mother to get baby Beth back, and Puck kissed Shelby in a previous episode.

Amidst the baby mama drama, Kurt’s dad Burt is running against Sue for congress. Actress Jane Lynch has openly stated that her character, Sue Sylvester, will be playing a candidate “more right-winged than Michele Bachmann.”

Which means that we have to take her campaign against (small business owner and proud father of a gay son) Burt to be what Hollywood liberals believe conservatives to be. It’s actually rather disturbing. (more…)

The following article contains spoilers. You’ve been warned.

Hey everyone! I can’t tell you how much I’ve wanted to write this review for y’all. Do you know why? Because teenage sex! And homosexual sex! And does it get any more controversial than teenage homosexual sex?

If it does, then I don’t want to know about it.

Anyway, this week’s episode of “Glee” was set to the music of “West Side Story,” which emulates perfectly the forbidden love of Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet.” Seriously, who doesn’t love a good Pyramus and Thisbe story?

As was dramatized in previews and therefore on the Internet… this week was a week of firsts. First time to shock us? No. First time to push the barriers? No.

But it was the first time that two of the couples on the show had sex. (more…)

Didja miss me? I missed you. But I’m totally back this week! You know why? Because Glee is back! After taking a quick way too long break, the show we all love to hate was back last night, and oh, it did not disappoint.

Before the first commercial break, we got our first glimpse of liberal snark when cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) went on the air to expose the exorbitant amount of taxpayer money that the glee club wastes, like, teaching kids to sing and have self-confidence and crap. Thankfully, Mr. Schuester (Matthew Morrison) pointed out in a subsequent scene that the cheerleading squad gets $4,000 a month for pompoms.

I guess teenage boob jobs are on the rise.

Here’s the thing:  Sue is running for congress, and she’s apparently running on the Tea Party ticket. No, they’ve never mentioned it on the show, but Jane Lynch has mentioned that her character channels Tea Party Patriot Michele Bachmann. And because Michele Bachmann and other Republicans hate children, puppies, and rainbows, Sue has managed to cut the funding for the school’s musical.

Then YAY capitalism! A group of parents come together with local business owners to fund the musical for the high school kids, which is really how kids’ programs should be funded … by the parents. (more…)

**Spoilers Ahead**

It’s time for the Week 3 review of Glee, the show we all (or at least some of us) love to hate. In case you missed it, I’ll be your guide to Glee this season, breaking down the inevitable liberal indoctrination that occurs with each new episode.

Monday’s episode of Glee included offensive stereotypes, soap opera-style betrayals, outfits worthy of the classiest strip clubs, and… prayer? Yup, that’s right. In a tender moment between teacher Will (Matthew Morrison) and his girlfriend Emma (Jayma Mays), she falls to her knees and prays in earnest, telling Will that she prays in her head all the time but sometimes kneels so that God can hear her better.

I really can’t find anything to criticize about that scene. Glee surprisingly didn’t portray people that pray as weirdos, hypocrites, or terrorists, and given its track record, I suppose we should be grateful. Will didn’t tell Emma she was stupid for praying; he just held her hand and joined her. It was a nice moment.

Now on to the rest of the show.

One of the funniest lines ever came when Mike Chang (Harry Shum, Jr.) got an A- on his chemistry test. His girlfriend exclaims, “You got an Asian F?” I’m giggling just typing that. It’s funny because it’s true; culturally speaking, the Asian community places a lot more pressure on their children to succeed than other groups. Tiger Mom, anyone? (more…)

The following article contains spoilers. You’ve been warned.

Hi everyone! I’m back for Week 2 of Glee, the show we all (or at least some of us) love to hate. In case you missed it, I’ll be your guide to Glee this season, breaking down the inevitable liberal indoctrination that occurs with each new episode.

As we learned last week, (gay guy) Kurt is running for student body president. (Sexually confused and dumb as wet paint) Brittany offers to be his campaign manager with a very pink and sparkly strategy, in which she likens him to a unicorn that poops cotton candy.

Excuse me, but isn’t that a conservative thing? Only our unicorns poop skittles. I’m sure they’re totally separate species. Also, we don’t liken people to mythical, candy-pooping creatures … we only liken things like free health care to them. Neither one actually exists, you know.

The heart of this episode doesn’t belong to unicorns, candy, or homosexuals – it belongs to baby mama drama. Shelby is back to cause a raucous. Shelby was the coach of Vocal Adrenaline, the arch nemesis of New Directions (thee glee club that the show revolves around).

Shelby is the adoptive mother of Beth, the biological daughter of Quinn and Puck. If you’ll remember from last week, Quinn is the chick with the new punk attitude, and Puck is the guy that everyone has done it with. To complicate matters, Shelby is also the biological mother of Rachel, the Barbara Streisand wannabe of Glee Club.

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The following article contains spoilers. You’ve been warned.

 Glee is back! Come on, guys, get excited!

Anyone?

Just me? Well ok then. I’m not afraid to admit, loudly and proudly, I totally heart Glee. I’ve been a fan of high school dramedies since Joey crawled through Dawson’s window, and when you throw musical theatre into the mix … pure entertainment, Baby!

So what if it’s a microcosm of leftist indoctrination that spoon-feeds liberal drivel into eagerly waiting mouths? What isn’t, these days? Cue my theme song, because that’s where I come in. This year I’ll be tuning into Glee and reporting back to you fabulous Big Hollywood readers the blatant misrepresentations of reality that were sung and danced into living rooms across the nation.

Get the facts! Fight the smears!

(Sorry. Couldn’t help it.)

Anyway. The season 3 opener on Tuesday was filled with blog fodder: Cheerleading Coach from Hell Sue Sylvester is running for congress, the only stable relationship continues to be the one between gay boys, and Quinn tries to ‘find herself’ by dying her hair pink and lighting a purple piano on fire with a cigarette.

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I was catching up on back episodes of Glee on my DVR recently (don’t judge me!) when a story arch ticked me off. One of the kids, Sam, reveals to the glee club that he’s living in a motel room with his entire family after his dad was laid off. 

“Do you know that the bank can just take your house?” he asks his friends. As if some suited bankers showed up one morning on their doorstep and demanded that they vacate their residence. There was more to the story – their family had relocated for Dad’s new job, and with such a bad economy, it’s last-in-first-out. They had depleted their savings in the move, and therefore had nothing to fall back on when the job was lost. 

This is the perfect example of the liberal drivel that Hollywood spoons out. It’s the banker’s fault! If only the bank had given them some time to come up with the mortgage payment, everything would be ok! Evil bankers (synonymous with Republicans for some strange reason in many people’s minds) are destroying the American dream! 

Let’s look at some facts, mmmkay?

Glee is set in Ohio. In that state, it can take six months or longer for the bank to foreclose on your house after you stop paying the mortgage. The bank doesn’t just show up and kick you out of your house. They give you multiple chances to pay your debt, and would prefer it if you did, because taking the whole thing to court is expensive and no one likes dealing with lawyers very much anyway. 

Six months is a long time to figure out what the heck you’re going to do. 

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It has been said that there is nothing new under the sun. From fashion to societal morality, history keeps on repeating itself. Who ever thought skinny jeans would come back in style? What’s next, stirrup pants and scrunchies? 

Atlas Shrugged: Part 1 is an excellent reminder of the dangers of socialism in our current age of entitlement. The parallels between the story and our current political and cultural state are uncanny and more than a little bit unsettling. As a witness to the Bolshevik Revolution in Russia, author Ayn Rand was well aware of the tragedies of statism, and her most famous work of literature depicts what happens when the wealth is spread around in the name of fairness. 

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The movie adaptation of Atlas Shrugged remains faithful to Rand’s themes of capitalism and the evils of collectivism. One major change from the pages to the screen was the decision to change the setting from a future fictional country to America in 2016. It was a good decision, in this writer’s opinion, as it illustrates the slippery slope of socialism our nation is teetering on. 

It opens with America in decline. Fuel prices are through the roof, making air travel impossibly unaffordable and bringing back trains as the major mode of transportation for people and goods. Airplanes and buildings are in disrepair, businesses shut down, and successful citizens disappear after being sought out by a shadowy character calling himself John Galt. 

Taylor Schilling does a beautiful job portraying heroine Dagny Taggart, who fights tooth and nail against her annoying brother James (Mathew Marsden) and his political cronies in Washington to make Taggart Transcontinental a success. Poised, polished, and with an iron will, Dagny partners with Hank Rearden (Grant Bowler), an entrepreneur who has invented a new metal that is lighter, cheaper, and stronger than steel. Together, they battle oppressive government restrictions and sanctions to rebuild the Rio Norte line in Colorado. The Centennial state is one of the last prosperous states in the nation, thanks in large part to oil tycoon Ellis Wyatt (Graham Beckel). Once the newly christened John Galt line is completed, Wyatt will have a safe way to transport his product to consumers. That is real job creation. 

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